Thoughtful Outsider

Site Map




Sacred Sex
Insight Questionaire

A considerable amount of the modern literature on Tantra focuses on how to have good sex - adding variety with interesting positions and games. Other books provide meditations and exercises which help us to turn sex into a spiritual experience of ecstasy. 

This website will ultimately lead to a great improvement in your sensuous experience of the world. This means both the goals, great sex and spirituality, will be fulfilled but there will also be much more. One of the central premises of it is that all aspects of who we are must be questioned (You can see from the graphic what is involved in good sex).

If sexual enjoyment is a problem its solution may appear to be simple. We can treat it like a disease find a cure; defeat the symptom: change partners, play some fantasy games to add some spice, or maybe there is a physical problem. This course may contribute to this kind of cure. However, this is not its goal. Sex is a symbol for how we relate to the world, so that if sex is not satisfying it is symptomatic of much wider issues. Even if the problem is physical.

Tantra is a total way of looking at the world. It is a challenge to our social conditioning; to the way we relate to each other at the most intimate level but also at the most public and political level. Along with Buddhism it has come to the fore in our culture because we need to learn ways of relating to each other and our environment in interdependent equal relationships, as opposed to the unequal power struggles that are co-dependent, dependent or independent relationships.

What is Tantra?

Tantra is a form of spirituality which recognises the importance of sensuality, the emotions, love and intimacy to our maturity (spiritual or otherwise). It recognises that experience is relativistic, that the product of relationship. It recognise and embraces the complexity of relationships. It even has an alternative mythology. 

Where many religious and philosophical approaches to living have warrior attitudes. Their world is expressed in a cosmology based on battle. A world created by the independent act of will of a single often male God who is challenged by a lesser male being who represents the 'Other' (anything other than the self or group you belong to). These two battle for the world (or its destiny or soul depending on the variation) through our daily actions. One of these two, usually the creator, is the epitome of purity, goodness, spirituality, light, etc. and the other, everything that is the opposite of these: evil, immorality, materialism, darkness etc.

For Tantra the world is created by a God and Goddess making love. The Goddess is the source of power, the world; the God expresses and maintains it. There is still an 'Other', the Other is the beloved rather than the enemy. The Other is a sensuous partner in creating your life and destiny. The world of the senses to the warrior religions, for example in Christianity, Islam and many yoga systems, is seen as an enemy, a source of temptation and weakness to be controlled and struggled against. This is also true of the emotions, the opposite gender and any activities that lead to pleasure (especially sex). For the Tantrika the emotions are the source of our greatest understanding, and understanding passion and pleasure by participating empowers. The day to day love of our partner, of our children or even of a teacher can be the fuel for the kind of focused effort that can change the world. 

This where the paradox comes in because the Warrior's greatest power and justification is this love. Often he or she will commit her or his greatest atrocities in its name. 

Yet, the warrior's duality is still important to Tantra but, unlike in the warrior traditions, the roles aren't fixed. In Tantra they can be male or female, both are enemies of each other deserving of equal respect - she/he draws the boundaries which allow us to feel safe enough to feel free to love. The Warrior draws the boundaries, the Lover lets them down. The warrior allows us to develop our strengths and express them, in the context of love but with being over-powered by passion. Warriors who aren't motivated by love (idealism and honor) are soldiers who commit atrocities without remorse. 

At the same time even in the name of love many are massacred. Because in the context of a warrior culture and its associated myths love rarely matures into the source of freedom it can be. It is a narrow passionate explosion or a form of surrender to a destiny imposed from beyond, the soul mate, or an alliance which submerges one partner's strength into the other's will.

The Tantric Warrior cultivates the kind of love shared by equals through a broad awareness of the sensual moment which frees us from the narrowness of fixed ideas fuelled by fear.


Home ] Body ] Sacred Sex ] Definitions ] Buddhism ] Chakras ] Queer ] Taoism/Daoism ] Yoga ] Insight Questionaire ]

Send mail to with questions or comments about this web site.